I thought I was raising children...

I thought I was raising children...

Monday, March 15, 2010

Oh, now I'm mad...



The other day, as I was grading tests (aka, cruising the Internet), I stumbled upon this article about a study Kansas State University did on motherhood.

I nearly spit my coffee all over my computer monitor.

"Some findings:

• Moms employed full-time outside the home are devalued and their kids are seen as "troubled," experiencing bad parent/child relationships.

• Participants didn't view at-home moms much differently that those "middle moms" who find a work/home balance.

Jennifer Livengood, a K-State grad student in psychology says, "People like mothers who fulfill traditional stereotypes, like staying at home. That's just not a reality and not a preference for women as much as it used to be." "


Not a preference?!?!?! I want to be a SAHM. Actually, I want to be a "middle mom" where I can work at home. But I can't. It's not feasible for my husband and I right now - if I quit working without having another source of income lined up, we don't make our mortgage. So be careful, Kansas State University, with how you report your findings. That is the problem with studies - you chose the facts, and can skew them.

And to tell me that my kids will be perceived as "trouble makers" because I work? Yeah, you just p%&*ed me off. Maybe my anger is playing into your findings, but I don't care. No one calls my kids names. And don't tell me that we have a "troubled" relationship... it's about quality, not quantity. And the quality of my relationship with my kids is fine.

But it gets better. Who, you might be asking, did Kansas State chose to interview?

"Upon further inspection, I read that the participants in the study were unmarried undergrad students, 99 percent of whom have no kids."

Why would you conduct a study where the participants are unmarried undergrad students with no kids?

Okay, so the purpose of your study is to see what people think motherhood should be like, what the fantasy is. I get it. One small problem:

No offense to those of you out there who are undergrad students with no kids, but most of you don't know anything yet. Your biggest concern is probably the upcoming final and what beer to buy on Friday. And good for you. Enjoy that time of your life where you don't have to worry about things like paying a mortgage, whether or not your daughter's cough at 4 in the morning means you are going to have to take a coveted sick day, or agonizing every night if the choices you made that day are the right choices for your children and your family. Sorry, undergrad student with no kids -- until you have kids, keep your mouth shut about what it takes to be a mother.

And that goes to everyone out there who doesn't have kids but thinks they can give me "advice" on how to raise my children - I have a pediatrician, a mother, and girlfriends on call. I prefer those with experience to help me out. Thanks so much though.

6 comments:

  1. No comment...but can you see the fire and steam coming from my ears?!

    ReplyDelete
  2. my background is in this type of research and i think this sudy is stupid. Why would yor study population have no correlation to your hypothesis?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I went to a "research university" as an undergrad and was a psychology major. We were constantly barraged with surveys to fill out because we were easy access and free. Certainly ungrads are not always the best population to survey. But who would be?? Whose perceptions about SAHMs and working moms do we want to hear about? I'd like to hear about everyone's percetions - even those clueless little ungrads! And my biggest question is even though they are just young students WHY do ungrads have these perceptions? I know I didn't as an undergraduate and I didn't think my peers did either. Have times/culture changed? I find this both interesting and disturbing. Shannon can you post the link to this study?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sorry Shannon - I see you have the link posted!
    I'm quite curious about this population actually and why they think this way. Is this generation being raised my their parents differently than the generations before them? will these perceptions change once they "grow up" and find themselves trying to balance work and home life?

    ReplyDelete
  5. An oldie but goodie that I've often referenced:

    http://www.yale.edu/wc/worklifesurvey
    http://www.insidehighered.com/news/2006/10/04/women

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kristin,

    I agree with you - my big question is WHY? What makes them feel this way or have these perceptions? Based on my experience at college, you shouldn't be asking undergrads with no kids these questions because alot of the students will have some sort of parental issue that could distort their perceptions. That was a question the university should ask before they chose who would answer the questions... I would be inclined to see what kids would say (ages 5-13) about SAHM vs. Working Mommas, but it depends on how you ask the questions...

    ReplyDelete

Girlie's Birthday

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

Boyo's Birthday

Boyo's Birthday

BabyGirlie's Birthday

BabyGirlie's Birthday

BabyBug's Birthday

BabyBug's Birthday