Toddler Translations

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1. "I fly Mommy"
- If you are in same room as my son, please grab him before he jumps off the couch/table/bed/window sill. If you are not in the same room as my son, please bust your a#$ to get there so you can catch him.

2. "Nothing!"
- This normally follows my question, "What are you doing?" when it dawns on me that it has been too quiet in the playroom. A nothing response means busting your a@# to get to the playroom to clean up whatever mess they have created.

3. "Not me!"
- The name of my children's invisible friend who has created the mess mentioned in number 2.

4. "OWWWWWWWWWWWW!" (from Boyo)
-You didn't get into the room fast enough when he said he could fly (see Number 1). On another note, "OWWWWWWWWWWWW!" from Girlie means Boyo has just hit/bit/pinched/jumped on his sister.

5. "I didn't do it!"
-Oh, yes you did.

6. "I love you Mommy."
-What did you just do? And where is your brother/sister?

7. "I do it! I do it!"
-Be prepared to add an hour onto your timeline for today, Mom, while I try to dress/feed/clean up after myself.

8. "I want a snuggle."
-If I lie in my bed for another minute, I might fall asleep. So I have figured out the one thing I can say to you that will keep me awake and make you feel like a complete ogre if you say no to me.

9. "I naked Mommy."
- Yes, yes you are. Did you really need to strip down to your skin at the Farmer's Market?

10. "I'm just looking at it!"
-But watch out, because the moment your back is turned, I'm taking the permanent marker to your freshly painted wall.

11. "I'll get it for Brother."
-I really want it for myself, so if I can just get my hands on it....

12. "Uh-oh."
-Take a deep breathe and steel yourself. It's going to be ugly.