First Friends

I was lucky enough to get to witness my daughter make her first friend today.

This was the first time my daughter made a friend that I had not arranged for her; it happened at the first day of PreK. I know that the likelihood of them being friends next week, or a year from now, or fifteen years from now, is slim. But it was unbelievably sweet. And it helped ease my worried mother's heart.

I was up late last night, fretting about today. What if Girlie has an accident? What if she doesn't like it there? What if the teachers are mean to her? What if other kids are mean to her? What if she is mean to the other kids? Have I taught her how to handle everything that could happen tomorrow?

I know it is silly -- after all, she went to day care from the time she was eight weeks old until the time she was three. So why was I freaking out over two half days of PreK a week?

This just seems like a big step to me -- it's one more step she is taking away from me and into the world. And it worries me and makes me sad. I want her to be my little baby girl forever, but I also want her to be an independent, functioning member of society when she is an adult. So this is a situation where I can't win.

But this morning I got up, pasted a big smile on face, and enthusiastically told my daughter how great today was going to be.

She seemed a little hesitant; she told me she didn't want to go to her new school because too many people would be there. I told her if she went she could have "Old McDonald's Farm" for lunch. She decided to go.

And when we walked into the room, it was overwhelming. There were a bunch of kids and parents running around. There was a lot of noise and it seemed so chaotic. She hid behind my leg and told me she wanted to go home.

My heart broke a little as I told her no, she needed to stay and be a big girl.

My daughter is like me -- a little shy at first. She gets anxious in new situations when she doesn't know anyone. Once she gets comfortable, though, there is no shutting her up. So I knew she would be okay; it was just going to be hard at first.

She put her lunch box and backpack into her cubby and then hung back, watching everyone play. I didn't know what to do -- do I push her to join the other kids, or do I soothe and cuddle? Either one could have made the situation worse.

Thankfully, I didn't have to.

A little girl named "Mary" came over to my daughter and took her hand. "You're going to be my friend, okay?" she said.

When I left fifteen minutes later, the two of them had their heads together and were giggling over little girl secrets.

Thank you, to all the "Marys" out there, who are welcoming and kind without even thinking about it. And thank you to their parents, who taught them to be that way. The shy kids, like my daughter and I, are extremely grateful.