The Other Child

I think, when you have two children, you spend about 50% of your life fretting that you are favoring one over the other. No, maybe 75%. Actually, I have never been good at math. Lets just say that it crosses my mind at least 10 times a day.

I want everything to be FAIR for my kidlets. Equal mommy time. Equal toys. Equal stories. Equal hugs and kisses and I love yous.

Maybe I'm just insane.

My daughter has been sick for the past four days. Which means that I have been home from work, cuddling, soothing, and watching endless episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. While my son, who is normally the little sickie in our small family, has gone to daycare.

Just typing that makes me wince and feel like an awful mother. After all, I'm home. Shouldn't both of my children be home with me?

I realized today that while I have not been neglecting my son, I have severely cut back on the amount of Mommy-Son time that he is used to while I deal with my daughter's-fever-induced- vomiting-at-the-worst-time-dictatorlike tendencies. The reason I realized this is because my normally fairly independent boy has become a leech and screams bloody murder if I am not carrying him. And I can't carry both of them at the same time... so my solution has been to lay on the floor and let them both crawl all over me so they are both getting "Mommy time." And I only shut my eyes for a minute. Or ten. I swear.

I mentioned to my friend (who has 3 kids) how guilty I was feeling for ignoring my son. She looked at me like I was crazy (which, after only 3 hours of sleep a night for the past 4 days, I will not argue with).

"Shannon," she said slowly, talking the way people talk when they want to smack you upside the head but know that is rude. "Have you not been feeding him? Changing his diaper? Reading his stories and going through the night time routine?"

"Of course I've been doing those things," I said. "I just feel bad that he is not home with me too."

"Hmm... yes, I can see how you would want the child with the health problems around the contagious child with the fever," she replied.

"Well, when you put it that way, I just sound stupid," I protested.

She shot me The Look. You know the one: the one that says "You're stupid."

"You can't do everything equally," she told me. "Good for you for trying, but it will not always work that way. Sometimes one child needs more than another one does."

I know she is right. And I'm certain that there will come a time when my son will need me more and he will get most of my attention while my daughter does not. It will all even out in the end, right?

Still, would it be wrong if I bought my son a pony to make up for these past 4 days?