SAHM vs. Working Mommy, Part II

So as most of you know, I have been struggling with the idea of staying home next year... putting aside the fact that my husband and I are as poor as church mice and can't see a way to make it without my salary, something else about staying home is bothering me.

I need structure. My organized, anal retentive soul gasps in pain if the spices in my spice rack are not in alphabetical order. I get frustrated if my husband doesn't hang his towel the way I like it hung. I took pictures of what toys go in what toy box/basket (and taped the picture to the box), so that cleaning up the playroom/living room takes the minimum amount of time. My bills are filed according to the day they are due and then filed again by amount. My budget and address book are on an Excel spread sheet; I have an online calendar; and I have separate internet folders for my emails - work, family, immediate family, friends, acquaintances, and ads or coupons that I am interested in. I could go on, but I don't want to scare anyone. My life is as orderly as I can make it with two children under 3.

I bring this up because my little ones have been sick and I spent a few days at home with them. I know that they were sick and required extra care, but we did nothing. I couldn't even load the dishwasher. My living room was a foot deep in toys and I was too tired to deal with it. One day, we stayed in our pjs all day. Another day, I didn't shower. And I'm pretty sure my children didn't eat any veggies for two days.

Now, before anyone says anything, I know they were sick. I know that everyone has those days where everything falls apart. I normally don't, but I am not going to kick myself because it happened.

Here is the point that I am meandering to: what if every day is like that if I stay home with my kids?

I think I would need to be fitted for a straight jacket.