SAHM-Day Eve

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The time has come. SAHM-Day is upon me. My husband goes back to work tomorrow and it's finally, really, totally official: I'm a Stay At Home Mommy.

I've known this day was coming. I've known it was coming even as I desperately spent the summer searching for jobs while my husband played with the kids outside. I've mentally prepared myself for SAHM Day by joining another MOMS Club, signing up for new museum passes, and renewing my zoo passes. I've financially prepared myself by finding freelance work - substituting, tutoring, writing, editing. I've emotionally prepared myself through discussions with a wonderful friend, who has been great at letting me whine, cry, and redefine my sense of self.

And I'm still a little nervous.

Not nervous that I can't handle my children - I can do that, even when they are screaming, hyperactive, fighting monsters. (Okay, so I'm a little nervous that I can't handle my children.)

I'm nervous that I'm going to be home with a stubborn little girl who refuses to be potty trained and thinks it's hilarious to pee outside like the dog.

I'm nervous that I'm going to have to deal with hours upon hours of my son screaming just so he can hear the sound of his own voice.

I'm nervous that I'll cave tomorrow at 8 am and turn on the TV (all day).

I'm nervous that nothing will get done - that the house will be a mess, dinner won't get made, I won't get a shower.

I'm nervous that I'll be bored.

I'm terrified that I'll be bad at this.