Mothering My Boy

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Mothering my boy means that I will always have a "PLEASE be careful," on my lips.

Mothering my boy means that I will rarely say it, reminding myself instead, "I don't want to teach him to be afraid of everything."

Mothering my boy means that I have a semi-permanent wince on my face as I watch him play, certain that he is about to maim himself in someway.

Mothering my boy means learning to trust him so that he can do some of the things that he thinks he can do.

Mothering my boy means that I spend all of my time on high alert, never to sit down and catch my breath, the way I could with his sister.

Mothering my boy means looking at everything critically, wondering how a windowsill, couch, table, stairs, pillow, dog, cup, book, house, anything, can hurt him, since he has no fear.

Mothering my boy means getting used to dirt, bugs, snot, or whatever disgusting substance he seems to find and either smear all over himself or bring to me as a gift.

Mothering my boy means that I now have a higher tolerance for tantrums, as his temper has a tendency to roll through the room in a split second, in a way that I never experienced with his sister.

Mothering my boy means ceasing to be surprised at how much he can eat when he feels like it.

Mothering my boy means stretching my imagination to new lengths as I try to come up with new activities and games to play since he's never happy with one for long.

Mothering my boy means feeling a mother's love for her son, which is very different than a mother's love for her daughter, but is just as awesome.