Contest Queen

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I am becoming a bit of a contest junkie.

I have a list of current contests book marked on my computer. You know, those: "Enter Daily for a Chance to Win!" And every morning I allot the five minutes to enter these 15 or so contests.

Yes, I know it's pathetic.

But if you had a chance to win $20,000 by entering a contest daily, I bet you would do it too. After all, my chances are better to win an Internet contest than they are to win the lottery. Not by much, mind you, but enough. And I would tell you where these contests are, but I really don't need the competition.

Still, I enter daily for 20 grand, a new living room, a $5000 shopping spree, and a new water heater, to name a few. There are also some daily giveaways that I sign up for.

But the best contest prize that I have seen so far? (Yes, even better than the $20 grand). This:

ONE WHOLE YEAR FREE MAID SERVICE!!!!

Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please let me win.

Oddest prize I've seen so far? This:

Cook 'N Carry Charcoal Smoker/Grill

Use this grill for smoking brisket or chicken or for grilling hamburgers and kabobs. It has a single grilling grate with a double latch lid and a wood handle for easy transportation. Ideal for carrying to the campgrounds or the park.

Why in the name of God would I want a Cook 'N Carry Charcoal Smoker/Grill? Smokers and grills are nonmoveable objects in my book.

I entered the contest anyway.

If I win I can give it to someone as a Christmas present, right?