Perfection is Boring

~

Some people are born to be mothers. You know the person I am talking about -- always with a smile on her face, with infinite patience, ready to whip up a healthy snack with what she has in her pantry or make a fun costume for her kids with the contents of her purse. She doesn't have a problem spending day in and day out at the park/pool/Mommy and Me class, and, most importantly, she never, ever loses her temper with her child/husband/self.

I'm not that person.

What is funny is that I always thought I would be. I could have sworn when I was twenty that I would be a cross between June Cleaver and Carol Brady, with a little Jackie O thrown in.

Thirty year old Shannon knows better.

I have found that not a week goes by where I am not losing my temper at my child/husband/self.

I hate going to the park/pool/Mommy and Me classes because I'm bored within 5 minutes. But my children love these activities and they have the added benefit of making my children tired, so I go, telling myself that I am taking time off my purgatory sentence.

As for being able to whip up a costume with the contents of my purse, nope. However, I could probably serve a bowl of Cheerios; does that count for something?

And a healthy snack? Ha. I do my best, but some days, the only fruit my kids get is fruit snacks. As for veggies, my THREE YEAR OLD daughter still gets her veggies from pureed baby food because she refuses to touch a green bean and thinks the pureed stuff is a "shake."

And for those moms out there with infinite patience? I'm trying really hard not to hate you. I am only able to not hate you only when I imagine you sneaking your kids candy or letting them watch two hours of TV while you relax with a glass of wine.

My smile sometimes hides gritted teeth. I say "Do I have to count to 3?" more times a day than I care to admit. I cringe when I think about how much TV my kids watch.

And as for the Jackie O style that I thought I would have, don't make me laugh. I did shower today, which gives me Jackie points, but I am also wearing yoga pants and a tank top with applesauce smeared across my pants and something I don't want to identify on my shirt, which makes me lose Jackie points. So I'm calling it a draw.

I have come to the conclusion that June Cleaver was boring.

And Carol Brady had Alice to do the housework.

Why these reflections? Because I am leaving for a week tomorrow morning. I am so excited, I am practically giddy with it. A week - BY MYSELF - in our nation's capital, doing something that I love in a place that I adore. And it was all paid for by someone other than me.

Wouldn't the mom I thought I would be refuse to go? You know, the cross between Jackie O, Carol Brady, and June Cleaver? Wouldn't she be unable to leave her little ones?

So see... I'm not that "perfect" mother, because I'm counting down the hours until I get on that plane. Sure, I'm a bit worried about leaving my husband in charge for a week -- not because I don't trust him with the kids, but because the other night he gave our son a glass glass of milk with ice cubes when he cried for milk at 2:30 in the morning.

Yes, I am going to miss my little ones. I'll miss their smiling faces and hugs, their giggles and questions. No, I will not miss getting up at 3 in the morning to change a bed after an accident, the whining and screaming, or the applesauce smeared across my pants.

And I'm okay with not being that perfect mother because I'm a good mom, and I think that is better. Perfection is boring -- there is no room for growth. So, while I may be learning on the job, at least it is interesting. And my kids know I love them and they love me in return.

And I'll love them even more after a week in D.C.