SAHM, Part I

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Once again, this is another post with me whining about whether or not I'm doing the right thing.
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I love my children. Please, don't ever doubt that I love my children.

I'm going to be home with my kids next year. I'm thrilled about it. I'm so excited; I have a ton of fun things that I want to do with them, all sorts of plans to try out. (Unfortunately, most of these plans involve money, but that is a different topic.)

I'm also terrified. Now that it's "for real," as my students would say, I'm worried that I'm making a big mistake by not working. I know that these years with my kids will never come back. I want to be with them. I know that work will be there when I am ready to go back to teaching.

But...

...I actually had one of those rare and perfect days with my students. A day where I nailed it: my students were laughing, were engaged, were having fun, and --most importantly, were learning. The kind of day where I had a big, goofy smile on my face because I felt like the best teacher in the world. The kind of day where, cheesy as it sounds, I felt like I was making a difference in their lives. I felt fulfilled.

And I wanted to cry because I wouldn't have days like that next year. And I'm going to miss these days. Sure, I am sure that I will have different days, where I will make a difference in my children's lives, where they will be laughing and having fun and engaged and learning. But the thought crossed my mind:

What if motherhood isn't enough?

Does that make me a horrible mother?