"I'm not beautiful!"
Hearing these words, words that I've said myself numerous times, coming from my 3 year old daughter shocked me.
"Baby Girl, you're absolutely positively beautiful," I told her, stunned that she would think she wasn't.
"No, I'm not," she said adamantly. "I'm NOT beautiful!"
"Then what are you?" I asked.
"I'm like Mommy," she explained.
I'm 95% sure she didn't mean to be insulting.
But as I thought about it, it made me realize how often she hears me sigh and complain about my body or my looks. Or how she copies my "Oh well, it will have to do face," when she sees me make it as I study myself in the mirror.
I'm teaching her this, I thought in horror.
It's important to me that my daughter have high self esteem. We tell her that she is beautiful, praise her when she does well, and encourage her to keep trying when she gets frustrated. I thought I was doing everything I could to help her develop her self esteem.
Instead, I've been undermining my vocal efforts with my actions. She hears me tell her she's beautiful, but then she sees me complain about my butt. Or skin. Or whatever else is bothering me that day. And then she does it too.
If I want my daughter to have high self esteem, I need to have some too.
Sometimes, raising a girl is really really HARD.
I thought I was raising children...
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Good point. I'll have to remember this as my girls get older. It is very difficult with girls.
ReplyDelete1. Today, after telling Aislyn she was a beautiful girl, she said "No! I'm not beautiful: I'm pretty!" She was quite adamant. Maybe it's a vocabulary issue.
ReplyDelete2. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! I keep a picture of you from when we first met (in a super secret place). I haven't looked at it in a while, but I did a few days ago, and I realized that no matter what time does to us, you will always look that way to me. You will always be my beautiful, glowing, young wife, and I shall always love you.