1. Why is there cheese on my foot?
2. I don't speak tantrum.
3. Don't play with your brother's penis.
4. Don't spit on your father!
5. Don't bite the cat.
6. What do you mean, you pooped in the tub?
7. We do not paint with our poop.
8. Your brother doesn't like it when you step on his head.
9. We don't need to announce that we farted.
10. We especially don't need to announce it at the top of our lungs in church.
11. That's not poop, its your brother's private parts.
12. Do not make me count to three.
13. One. (in a serious voice.) Two... (in a quiet, menacing voice.)
14. There is not an alligator in your closet.
15. Eating your vegetables will not kill you.
16. Please eat something other than grilled cheese/mac and cheese/oatmeal/hot dog/chicken nuggets.
17. FINE! You can have cookie for dinner! Just eat something!
18. Mickey Mouse is taking a nap. Why aren't you?
19. Your sister doesn't like it when you scratch her eyes out.
20. Do you want to sit in the penalty box?
... To be continued. After all, my kids are only 1 and 2....
This list made me laugh. But why did she think there was an alligator in her closet?!
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