Breastfeeding Myths, Rules, and Regulations

These are actual rules, regulations, and (what I have termed) myths that I actually heard from the nurses at the hospital. They refused to give me formula when I asked for it in desperation at 3 in morning the second day of life. They also refused to give me a binky for my daughter when I was getting carpel tunnel from letting her suck on my pinky for an hour. Their excuse? This is a "baby friendly hospital." Fine. Next time (if there is a next time), I'm going to a "mommy friendly hospital."

1. It doesn't hurt.

Bullsh@#. Right now, I'm claiming BS. Now, if you were to rephrase - it doesn't hurt after the first 3 weeks -- yes, that I can get on board with.

2. Your baby will know what to do; after all, it's natural. Listen to your baby.

Oh, this is a WAAAAAAAY bigger lie than number one. How is the kid, who gets scared when it sees it's own hand, going to know what to do? It's a learning process for both Mommy and Baby.

3. Once your milk comes in, everything will be easier.

Except for the fact that engorgement hurts. And makes you look like a porn star.

4. Don't give bottles to the baby until week 4 - you don't want to create nipple confusion.

True. But I also need to sleep. So the kid is getting a bottle once a night. I don't think my baby is stupid; she'll figure out pretty quick that Mommy's "equipment" is different than a bottle. And getting a bottle once a day won't scar her for life or make her refuse my breast. I did this with my son, and you know what - I got over my PPD that much faster when I could SLEEP FOR FIVE HOURS STRAIGHT.

5. Don't give binkies to the baby until week 4 - for the same reason as number 4. After all, God gave your child (hopefully) 10 "natural" binkies - her fingers.

My parents, the gap in my teeth, $7000 in orthodontia, and the fact that I sucked my thumb until I was WAY too old would disagree with this rule. And knowing that my parents followed it and tried to give me a binky after 4 weeks (which I then refused, desiring my thumb instead), makes me disagree too. The kid gets a binky when she doesn't want to eat but still wants to suck - because letting her suck on me just makes me sore and cracked and bleed. And how do I know the difference? I just do. I'm her mom.

And that, right there, is my problem with all of these rules, regulations, and myths. If I hear one more time, "Well, the American Pediatrics Association recommends...," I may lose my mind. The American Pediatrics Association is not at my house at 2 in the morning when I'm engorged and hysterical because my daughter can't latch on and I. just. want. to. go. to. sleep. Nor is the APA around to take care of my other two kids when I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Lastly, the American Pediatrics Association doesn't have to pay dental bills in 13 years.

The American Pediatrics Association can recommend. And I promise to take their recommendations seriously. But don't refuse to give me the help I'm requesting because the APA says so. The APA also said to drink a Guinness a day to encourage breast milk production 30 years ago and that formula was best 20 years ago. Give me the current information and let me make up my mind. I'll probably end up doing something in the middle - as long as it works for me and my child and my family.

After all, I'm the mother.

The Cost of Kids

A friend sent me this for Mother's Day... I had to share.

The Cost of Kids

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up $160,140! That doesn't even touch college tuition. For those with kids, that figure leads to wild fantasies about all the money we could have banked if not for (insert a child's name here). For others, that number might confirm the decision to remain childless.

But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into $8,896.66 a year, $741.38 a month, or 171.08 a week. That's a mere $24.44 a day! Just over a dollar an hour. Still, you might think the best financial advice says don't have children if you want to be "rich". It is just the opposite.

What do you get for your $160,140??

Naming rights - first, middle, and last! Glimpses of God every day. Giggles under the covers every night. More love than your heart can hold. Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs. Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies. A hand to hold. A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites, building sandcastles, and skipping down the sidewalk in the pouring rain. Someone to laugh yourself silly with no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to finger-paint, carve pumpkins, play hide-and-seek, catch lightning bugs, and never stop believing in Santa Claus. You have an excuse to keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disney movies and wishing on stars. You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off the bike, removing a splinter, filling the wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless. You get a front row seat to history to witness the first step, first word, first bra, first date, and first time behind the wheel. You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there with God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.

Author Unknown

Unexpected Blessings

~
Have you ever noticed, that when you are at what you think is your absolute lowest, there is always someone there to say exactly the right thing at exactly the right time? You just have to be paying attention...

I had one of those moments today. I was talking to my mother on the phone, crying my eyes out because of the mess I have made of my life.

Here's the thing - I'm rarely a crier. I'm more of a scream into a pillow, go to a butt kicking aerobic class, or a punching a boxing bag kind of girl. But in the last two months, I have done more crying than I care to admit to. And the fact that I was crying to my mother (who taught me to be that scream into a pillow, go to a butt kicking aerobic class, or punch a boxing bag kind of girl) is RARE. In fact, the last time I did, I think I was 15.

And my mom reminded me of something, something that until that moment, I wasn't even aware she realized.

"Shannon," she told me in a soothing voice that I don't remember from my childhood. (How could I have missed it?) "You are so lucky -- you have two children who love you and you get to be their mom. You have more than some people will ever have. You have the right priorities -- everything else will work out. You just have to give it time."

And then she said the clincher, the one thing that was guaranteed to make me cry harder. "You are my first born. I hate to see you so upset. If I could fix it, I would. But I know you'll get through this; you're strong."

She reminded me of something that I sometimes take for granted: I have two great kids and a family that loves me.

Sometimes, I really want to be my mom when I grow up.

Who Wants to Move to Norway?

~
I stumbled across an interesting article the other day.

Apparently, the United States is ranked 28th in the world when it comes to the best places to be a mother.

The five top countries were: Norway, Australia, Iceland, Sweden and Denmark.

Not surprisingly, Afghanistan was last on the list.

I'm not making these rankings up. Save the Children compiles this list yearly after looking at factors such as access to health care, educational and economic opportunities, and maternity leave policies.

It was the maternity leave policies that got me curious, so I decided to do some research. Granted, my research consisted of hitting up Wikipedia, but I am determined to dig further into this.

I know that the United States offers 0 time of paid maternity leave and 0 time of paid paternity leave. Under the Family Medical Leave Act, you can get 12 weeks off, unpaid. But really, it's up to your employer to determine if you are going to get paid leave or not.

What I did NOT know was that every country in Africa but one offers paid maternity leave. Every country in Asia/Pacific offer paid maternity leave. Every country in Europe offers paid maternity leave. In the Americas, every country but one offers paid maternity leave.

Yup, that one would be the United States.

Great. We are on par with Swaziland in terms of maternity leave.

And Norway, the country that Save The Children ranked #1?

Here is what parents in Norway get:

For Moms: 56 weeks (13 months) (80%) or 46 weeks (10.5 months) (100%) - mother must take at least 3 weeks immediately before birth and 6 weeks immediately after birth, father must take at least 10 weeks - the rest can be shared between mother and father. The mother can also take an extra full year of unpaid leave after the paid period ends.

For Dads (yes, they take care of their dads too!): 10 weeks of the 56/46 weeks paid leave is reserved for the father. If he does not take these 10 weeks, they will be lost as they can not be transferred to the mother. The father can also take an extra full year of unpaid leave after the paid period ends. In addition, the father is entitled to take two weeks unpaid leave directly before or after birth (many fathers are paid for these weeks by their employers).

Restrictions: To gain the right to paid leave for herself and the father, the mother must have worked for 6 of the last 10 months before birth, or the leave is unpaid (except for a lump sum benefit from the government).

Who is up for moving to Norway?

All right, all right, this information came from wikipedia. I still need to dig deeper into this. Perhaps all of this information is flawed and I will need to eat my words. I hope it is flawed. I hope I'm wrong. Because if this information is right, I'm highly irritated.