Chronos and Kairos

Last Thursday, the kiddos and I decided to take it easy. I had spent first part of the week in an actual classroom and the kiddos had been shuffled hither and yon as I arranged day care for them.

But at about 11 am, Boyo started getting antsy. So I figured I would take them to the pathetic park in the middle of our neighborhood to get them outside but still take it easy.

They decided they wanted to ride their tractors. Fine.

Three houses down the street, they changed their minds. They wanted to ride their tricycles.

Mildly irritated, I turned the parade around to get their tricycles.

Ten minutes later, and five houses away from home, they decided we had to go back to get their scooters.

Extremely irriated, I once again turned everyone around to go home and swap out rides.

At that moment, my neighbor, who was leaving her house, called out, "I wish my kids were young again."

Yeah, I call bulls#$% on that one.

But it reminded me of an article I had just read about how some mother's don't carpe diem.

There is a parenting sub-culture out there -- parents who enjoy their kids all the time. Who relish every minute with their little rug rat. And it pisses me off.

Why? Because it makes me feel like the worst mother on the planet. It makes me feel rotten that I don't enjoy every moment, that there are some days where I am walking out the door as my husband walks in because if I don't, I'm going to lose my ever lovin' mind. The fact that I don't "Carpe Diem" makes me feel guilty and lower than slug slime.

Which is why Glennon Melton's argument really spoke to me. Yes, some days are hard. And yes, some days have more chronos time than I would like (read the article, people. I linked to it above). I can't "Carpe Diem." I can't focus on my kids every minute, because then I don't focus on me at all. And to be a good mother -- not perfect, that's impossible -- but a good mother, I need to focus on me sometimes. And on my husband. And our marriage. And work - if for no other reason than to keep my brain sharp.

Not only that, how are you supposed to "carpe diem" when your son is shooting a clone trooper gun at everything that moves, your daughter is whining that she wants Fruit Loops, the baby is screaming her head off, the dog is barking at the wind, your husband is texting to see what is for dinner, and your boss is calling? All at the same time. If you can sieze the moment in that situation, you are a better person than I am. (Or a liar.)

Don't get me wrong, I don't ignore my kiddos. I make sure that we experience kairos time together every day (seriously, read the article. Here it is again). Whether it's early morning snuggles, or sweet angel smiles, or cooking dinner together. Sometimes I'm thankful for them when they are sitting on my lap coloring while I'm pounding away at my keyboard. Or when my son brings me a flower and says, "It for yew." Or when my daughter grins up at me and says, "Mommy, you made today a really great day." Or when BabyGirlie smiles up at me all sneakily when she's nursing (normally right before she bites). That's my "Thank you for them, God" time. It's my kairos time.

But my kairos time is not going home for the third time to get scooters to ride to the park 15 houses away from ours.

Which is why I grinned at my neighbor when she told me that she wished her kids were young again. "I'll rent mine out," I told her.

She blinked at me and then smiled back. "I don't miss it that much," she laughed.

See? I found another mother who knows the difference between chronos and kairos time.

"Carpe a couple of Kairoses a day." ~Glennon Melton