And it really got me thinking about the debate that has raged on in this country -- stay at home mom versus working mom...and the forgotten few, like me, the work at home mom. And I think about how everybody gets so heated one way or another about it, and starts shouting and yelling over which choice is right and which choice is wrong and what is the best way to raise children and what is the right way to raise children and I just have to say....
Everybody needs to shut the hell up.
Because here's the thing -- The question: how to raise the world's children? It's not my decision to make. What is my decision to make is how to raise my children. And that goes for everyone else -- it's your decision how to raise your children and NO ONE ELSE'S BUSINESS.
Think about it -- how would you feel if people told you the right way to pay your bills, load the dishwasher, or mow your lawn? I bet you'd be a little peeved, right? So why do we (as a society) think that we can tell families how to raise their children and expect parents to fall over and be so thankful that we stuck our noses in their business?
And it makes my blood boil when I hear women ripping each other apart over motherhood -- women need to realize that we need to be united on parenting because, sweet Jesus, it's hard enough.
No one way to parent is right or wrong... it comes down to this:
If your child is clothed, fed, and housed, loved, nourished (body, mind, and soul), happy and cheerful (most of the time), and innocent, you are doing a bang up job.
Does it matter how you get your child to this state? Nope.
Regardless of my feelings on this, my Mommy guilt (which sounds a lot like Laura Schlessinger in my mind), still makes herself heard: Why did you get your MA to stay home? I bet other SAHM don't yell as much as you do. This place is a pigsty. Why is your son naked -- again? Did your daughter just drop the f-bomb? Well done, Mom of the Year. Get off your computer -- you can work at 2 in the morning when everyone else is asleep. What? You are going to bed at 11 pm instead of doing the dishes? Well, all right, if that is what you think is best...
I have a way to handle the Mommy Guilt voice when she rears her ugly head (at least twenty times a day)... I imagine myself picking up a mallet and smashing her to bits like in a Road Runner Wiley E Coyote cartoon. And then I feel better. But I don't know how to make her go away all together.
Here's the example that I want to set for my kids -- I want them to see that their mother is human. I want them to know that she loves them and would do anything for them. But that she sometimes loses her patience and her temper. That she is not afraid to apologize. That she gives the best hugs. That she can work and be there for them. That she knows when to say "That's it, I need a break!" That she struggles with the decisions that she makes but hopes that she is making the right ones for them. That they are some of the most important people in her life.
The problem is, Glennon Melton is right -- I'm not the only one setting the example. I'm a big part of it, sure, but my kiddos are smart -- they know (or will realize) that there are different ways to be a mom. And I hope to God that they don't think one way is better than another.
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