Someone needs to catch up...

Hubs: The baby is really starting to hit all kinds of milestones.

Me: She should, she's almost 6 months old.

Hubs: That can't be right.

Me: Why not?

Hubs: Because I just accepted the fact that you are pregnant with her. 

And Now You Are Five

My Darling Girlie,

How did you get to be FIVE?!  Where have the last five years gone?!?

I was thinking of this tonight, when you climbed into bed with me, snuggled up against me, and then stole my phone to play solitaire.  And you won!  How did you learn to play solitaire?  How did you learn to win?

Why are you growing up so fast?!

It breaks my heart that I can only vaguely remember the sweet little baby you were.  One of my most cherished memories is of wrapping you up against me in the MOBY wrap and then lying on the couch and reading a book.  You were two months old and you fell asleep, your milk-sweetened breath puffing gently on my neck.

I think of that now, as you are sleeping at my side, with your bubble gum toothpaste scented breath puffing in my face.

And I can only think -- you look like a person.  I see in you the child you are, the teenager you will become, the woman you will one day be.  And I can only barely see the baby you were.  And I weep.

You are a person.  For so long, I thought of you as a baby, my baby, an extension of me.  You are my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night.  And now I realize that you will always be my baby, but you are becoming so much more.

I realize I am quick to complain that you climb into my bed and kick me all night long.  But when I think about it, how many more sleepless, kicked fill nights are you going to give me? 

How many more days am I going to get of snuggling with you on the couch, watching a show?

How many more colored pages are are you going to create for me?

How many more school pick ups where you coming running up to me, shouting "Mommy!" and give me a big hug?

Each time these things happen, it's a gift that should be cherished as you move further away from me and more into the world.  

My time as your favorite person is limited.  And it's going too fast.

When you are a parent, your days are long.  Interminably long.  But the years... they speed by in a blink of an eye.

I want those five years back.

When I think about how impatient I was for you to roll over,sit up, crawl, walk, run, talk, go to preschool, join a sports team, I could cry.

I wish I had a time machine to go back to that new mother I was and tell her to stop.

To spend more time on the couch with a baby in her arms. 

To Slow down.

To Enjoy. 

Because one day her child will be five, and she will have no idea how it happened.  

I love you so much,

Mommy

A Letter to My Daughter on her 14th Birthday

To My Darling Girl,

Welcome to the world, little one!  After 10 hours of induced labor, 10 minutes of pushing, one stuck baby, two nurses pushing on my stomach, and the doctor yanking you out of me, you are finally here!

I am so happy to meet you, my love.  You are snuggled into my right arm while I type one handed, your schooshie face scrunched up and your eyes squeezed shut as if to open them would be to face the fact that you are outside of me, ready to take on this big world.

Today you are 14, my angel.  Your entire life is stretching before you.  I have such hopes for you.  I hope you are creative and brave enough to follow that creativity.  I hope you realize that failure is an opportunity in disguise -- it's a chance to do better, to be better.  I hope you try again and again and again... even if you never get it right.  Perfection is not possible.

 I hope you have adventures.  Not the sneaking out of the house to see if you can adventures.  But the type of adventures that help you learn who you are as a person and grow into a better human being.  And I hope that you can make adventures out of an ordinary day. 

I hope you can laugh at yourself and I hope you don't let other people laugh at you.  I hope you stand up for yourself.  I hope you are strong enough to tell your friends when they are wrong, to think outside the box, and that you can be nice to yourself. 

I hope you can go with the flow in a way that I never can.  I hope you can adapt when possible.  I hope you can stand firm when necessary.  I hope you know which battles are worth fighting and which ones are ridiculous.

I hope you are a good sister -- strong and caring, but not afraid to call your sisters and brother on their bulls@#$.  I hope you love your sisters and brothers and I hope you know that you are just as loved and just as important to me as they are.

And I hope and pray that if you have trouble believing or doing anything that I hope for you, you can come to me.  I will help you believe it.  I will help you do it.  Why?  Because I love you.  Because I believe you are capable of great things and ordinary things -- capable of anything you choose to do.  Life is not to be lived alone --  you have a family who loves you so very, very, very much.  And we are always here for you.

You only have one life, my love.  And now you get to decide how to live it.  I hope you make it a great one.

I hope you know that you are a wonder.  You are amazing.  You are fabulous.  You are an individual.  You are strong.  I hope you know that I love you.

You can talk to me about anything.

I love you,

Mom

One Track Mind

~

My daughter is very determined to get her way.

Yesterday, she left part of her toy in the car. She decided that she needed it at 9:58 pm at night, an hour and 58 minutes past her bedtime.

Me: "No, you cannot have it right now. It's past bedtime."

Girlie: "But I need it."

Me: "No, you don't. You need to go to sleep."

Girlie: "I'll go to sleep after I get it. Doesn't that sound like a good plan?"

Me: "No, it doesn't sound like a good plan. It's dark outside. Mommy will go get your toy when it's light outside."

Girlie: "Okay, you can go get my toy when it's light outside."

....five hours later, at 2:58 in the morning...

Girlie: "Mommy, is it light outside yet?"

Me (groggily): "Huh?"

Girlie: "You said you would get my toy when it's light outside. Is it light outside yet?"

Me (after opening one eye to see my daughter's face an inch a way from mine): "NO! Go back to bed! Mommy's not getting your toy right now!"

Girlie: "I wanna hafta sleep with you."

Me (groaning): "Why?"

Girlie: "Because my bed's wet."

Me: "Why is your bed --never mind. Climb on in."

... three hours later at 5:53 in the morning...

Girlie: (bouncing on my stomach) "Get up Momma! It's light outside. You can go get my toy now!"

Me: "Umph! Baby Girl, Momma will go when there is an eight on the clock."

...five minutes later at 5:58 in the morning...

Girlie: "Momma! There is an 8 on the clock now!"


I have got to teach that child how to tell time.