I Know I Need A Nap

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I was only the phone with my sister the other day when my son began smacking the dog with a stick.

"Boyo, put that stick down! We do not hit the dog!" I ordered him. Boyo ran off to put the stick down (I thought) and I continued my conversation with my sister.

Five minutes later, Girlie came up to me sobbing.

"Boyo hit me with a stick!" she wailed.

"The same stick I just told him to put down?" I asked.

"Yes," she sobbed.

"Did you hit him back?" I asked.

"No," she cried.

"You should go do that," I told her. Not my finest moment, I know. Plus, my four year old doesn't get sarcasm.

"I don't want to," she cried.

"What do you want me to do?" I teased her. "Do you want me to go hit him back for you?"

"Yes!" Girlie wailed.

Calm down. I didn't. I didn't even consider it.

And then Boyo piped up with: "It assident Momma!"

My sister about peed her pants listening to this on the phone.

Raising A Boy Takes Some Getting Used To...

...
Why, you ask?

My son wanted to watch Star Wars. Okay, that I get.

He wanted his light saber too. Okay, this also makes sense.

He pointed to the robots/clones/drones/whatever the hell they are and shouted, "Bad Guys!" Again, makes perfect sense.

Then he slammed his light saber into the TV screen and yelled, "I fight da robots!"

That I don't get.

However, it made perfect sense to my husband.

Division of Property

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My son thinks all toys at our house should be community property.

My daughter thinks every toy at our house should be hers.

This makes for very interesting fights. New rule: you fight over it, it's Momma's. (Although I'm not quite sure what I am going to do with a toy collection of 23 matchbox cars, 2 barbie dolls, a soccer ball, and a bubble wand).

Still, sometimes the little darlings fool me. They play so well for a few minutes, that I forget they don't share and leave the room.

I invariably return at a run 30 seconds later to a fighting, screaming, crying ball of children who have thrown themselves together in furious tug of war over who gets whatever stupid toy they are fighting over

Still, this morning, they were playing side by side. Boyo had his cars. Girlie had her princess dolls. I told them I was going to take a shower.

My mistake.

I came running two minutes later, dripping wet, shampoo in my eyes, towel wrapped around me as I yanked the two of them apart and sent them to separate corners.

The toy that caused the melee?

A Princess Aurora doll.

My son kept screaming: "Aurora! Car! Aurora! Car!" Apparently, he wanted to take Aurora for a spin in one of his matchbox cars. After all, she's his girlfriend, having pushed Abby Cadabby out of the running.

My daughter was inconsolable. "Princess Dolls are for girls!" she kept shrieking, holding her arm in such a manner that made me think her brother had bitten her. But since he knows biting earns him a trip to the penalty box, and she knows that he gets in trouble for it, I didn't ask. I didn't have the energy to try to figure out if she was lying or not.

So I was torn... yes, the Aurora doll was Girlie's - my mom had bought it for her during Gam-Gam's last visit. On the other hand, I really don't mind if my son takes a hot blond girl out for a spin.

So now I have an Aurora doll to add to my toy collection.