The True Cost of Motherhood -- according to Yahoo! and Financially Fit

I just read an interesting article on the True Cost of Motherhood.

Basically, it was about how much having a child affects a woman's finances.

Here are their findings:

• Low-skilled women don’t get very big raises, and having kids does little to change that.The so-called wage trajectories (think of a line graph showing a worker’s wages growing over time) of low-skilled women are much flatter than those of high-skilled women. Having children didn’t change those trajectories very much.
• For high-skilled women, kids spell the end of raises. High-skilled women have steep wage trajectories. Those trajectories flatten out almost precisely at the moment they have children.
• Low-skilled women don’t seem to make their lost wages back. Ten years after having children, low-skilled women have wages that are six percent lower than their counterparts.
• High-skilled women don’t make that money back, either. Ten years after having children, high-skilled women have wages that are 24 percent lower than their counterparts.
• Becoming a parent seems to have no effect on men’s wages.
  

And my response?

DUH.

Really? We needed to do a study on something that has been common knowledge for 30 years, at least?

But that wasn't the part that made me really mad... it was the comments.

Oh, now I'm mad...

The other day, as I was grading tests (aka, cruising the Internet), I stumbled upon this article about a study Kansas State University did on motherhood.

I nearly spit my coffee all over my computer monitor.

"Some findings:

• Moms employed full-time outside the home are devalued and their kids are seen as "troubled," experiencing bad parent/child relationships.

• Participants didn't view at-home moms much differently that those "middle moms" who find a work/home balance.

Jennifer Livengood, a K-State grad student in psychology says, "People like mothers who fulfill traditional stereotypes, like staying at home. That's just not a reality and not a preference for women as much as it used to be." "

Not a preference?!?!?! I want to be a SAHM. Actually, I want to be a "middle mom" where I can work at home. But I can't. It's not feasible for my husband and I right now - if I quit working without having another source of income lined up, we don't make our mortgage. So be careful, Kansas State University, with how you report your findings. That is the problem with studies - you chose the facts, and can skew them.

And to tell me that my kids will be perceived as "trouble makers" because I work? Yeah, you just p%&*ed me off. Maybe my anger is playing into your findings, but I don't care. No one calls my kids names. And don't tell me that we have a "troubled" relationship... it's about quality, not quantity. And the quality of my relationship with my kids is fine.

But it gets better. Who, you might be asking, did Kansas State chose to interview?

"Upon further inspection, I read that the participants in the study were unmarried undergrad students, 99 percent of whom have no kids."

Why would you conduct a study where the participants are unmarried undergrad students with no kids?

Okay, so the purpose of your study is to see what people think motherhood should be like, what the fantasy is. I get it. One small problem:

No offense to those of you out there who are undergrad students with no kids, but most of you don't know anything yet. Your biggest concern is probably the upcoming final and what beer to buy on Friday. And good for you. Enjoy that time of your life where you don't have to worry about things like paying a mortgage, whether or not your daughter's cough at 4 in the morning means you are going to have to take a coveted sick day, or agonizing every night if the choices you made that day are the right choices for your children and your family. Sorry, undergrad student with no kids -- until you have kids, keep your mouth shut about what it takes to be a mother.

And that goes to everyone out there who doesn't have kids but thinks they can give me "advice" on how to raise my children - I have a pediatrician, a mother, and girlfriends on call. I prefer those with experience to help me out. Thanks so much though.