My Darling Boyo,
I struggled with this letter -- edited, debated, started over... I wasn't sure what I was going to say to you on your 19th birthday. By all accounts, you are a man but as I write this, you are still my guy who was thrilled with his Legends of Chima Lego set and the fact that he was finally tall enough to go on Indiana Jones (even though you have informed me you will not watch the movie until you are 13).
So what can I say to 19 year old you? I struggle more with your letters because I don't know what it is to be a man -- so all I can tell you is what I wish the 19 year old men I know/knew understand/understood.
First of all, I hope you live a grateful life. Life is sacred - so live on purpose. Strive for success and I hope that it takes you awhile to get there - because once you achieve it, the journey is over. Learn from the journey, want what you have, don't ignore the child who still lives within you, and be intoxicated with life.
Secondly, I hope that you respect humanity - women and men. There is such a strong mentality about raising men who respect women - and I am in no way belittling that. You should respect women. A woman is a person who does not deserve to objectified or ignored. She should be listened to, consulted, desired, and esteemed. But that isn't enough.
You should also treat men this way.
You should treat all creatures this way. And I know that, at 19, it's hard. It's easier to sit around with your friends and stay quiet when they say stupid shit about the girl in your class or the waitress serving you or the guy none of you like. It may be that you feel like you have to join in with a cruel and insensitive comments. Don't. Be BRAVE. Tell your friends to shut up. Say something that, 10 years from now, you won't wince when you think of it. Say something kind. Say something respectful.
I know that as you were growing up, I frustrated you. I know that you think I nagged you and bugged you to tell me about your day, or what you were feeling, or that you loved me. I'm not going to apologize for it. I did it to be a part of your life -- and to teach you that it is okay to talk about your feelings, to take ownership of your emotions, to be honest about your self and desires and to treat humanity with respect. I hope that your father and I were successful with that.
I love you more than words can say, my sweet man. You are one of my four wonders. And I wouldn't trade you for anything.
I hope you know you can talk to me about anything.
I love you more....
Mom
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