A Letter To My Daughter on her 20th birthday ...

To My Darling Girl --

Today you are six.  But you are twenty as you read this.

I wonder who you are. 

I wonder if you are finishing college or if you have taken a different path. I wonder if we will be close like we are now.  I wonder what direction your life is taking you in.

I hope you know that I love you.  That I love you so much it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.  That I think you are intelligent, and awesome, and funny, and beautiful inside and out.  I hope you know that about yourself too.

My darling girl, I look at six year old you and I know that you will move mountains.  You have an inner strength that I am jealous of -- your ability to stand up in the face of injustice is commendable.  Please don't ever lose that.  Even when it is hard, standing up for what is right takes a strength of character that will serve you as a guide for all of your life.

I hope that you listen.  That you can hear -- truly hear what people are saying even when they use the wrong words.  That you hear intent.  That you are able to be kind -- even when all you want to do is punch someone in the face. 

I hope you are still kind and loving to your brother and sisters.  They will be with you for much longer than I will - nurture the family that you have.  Don't take them for granted.

I hope you are responsible.  Not just for yourself, but for your words, your actions, your family.  Your community.  Your job.  Your world.  We are part of something bigger than ourselves -- please take care of it. 

I hope you are different than the pack.  I understand the desire to fit in -- the deep down fear of being different.  But remember -- you will gain nothing if you stick with the pack.  It is only by branching out, by taking chances, that you will learn and grow.  I'm not saying to be an isolationist -- I'm saying to be an individual.   

And remember -- other people's opinions of you are none of your business.  This is a hard one to swallow -- one I struggle with on a daily basis.  It's so easy to say -- I want them to like me.  It's important to remember that not everyone is going to like you -- just like you don't like everyone you meet.  You will live a much happier life if your opinion about yourself is the only one that matters.

I hope you do good.  I don't worry about you doing well -- I want you to do good. I hope you go to bed every night and think -- "Today I did good for others." 

I love you, my brave girl. 

I hope you know you can talk to me about anything.

Love,

Mom