My Children Make Me Dizzy

Actual conversation... that took place in about 5 minutes... I'm exhausted from jumping from topic to topic.

Girlie: I want to go to Gam-Gam's house.

Me: Gam lives far away sweetie.

Boyo: 13 miles?

Me: Four HUNDRED and 13 miles.

Girlie: Well.... we could take an airplane there.

Me: Airplanes are really expensive, sweetie.  And I would have to buy 6 tickets.

Girlie: Well, just you and me could go and Daddy could drive up with Brother and the Babies.

Me: Hey, now, that is an id --

Husband: (interrupting) No.  Just no.  Not going to happen.  Forget about it.


Girlie: Well, if we don't go to Gam Gam and Poppa's, how is Poppa going to give Brother a Darth Maul light saber?

Boyo: I WANT A DARTH MAUL LIGHT SABER! I WANT A DARTH MAUL LIGHT SABER! WE HAVE TO GO SEE GAM GAM AND POPPA!

Me: Buddy, you don't get to tell people what gifts to give you.  In fact, it's rude to ask for gifts at all.

Girlie: But you can tell Poppa and Gam Gam.

Me: No you can't.

Boyo: Why not?

Me: Because it's rude.

Girlie: But it's GAM GAM and POPPA.

Me: NO! You are going to be polite children and say thank you regardless of what you get.

Boyo: But if I don't get a Darth Maul light saber, I will be so so sad.

Me: You'll survive.

Girlie: I don't think he will.

Me: Don't help Girlie.

Boyo: We should call Poppa on your phone and tell him where to buy the Darth Maul light saber.

Me: NO! We don't tell people what to give us.  It's not polite.  We say thank you if they get us anything at all.

Girlie: That's right.  Because the big storm came and people could only take food and clothes.  They couldn't take toys.  So they will be happy with whatever we send them.

Me: What are you talking about?

Girlie: The Sand Storm that was on TV.  You said we were going to send toys and money to the people when their houses washed away.

Me: Do you mean Hurricane Sandy?

Girlie: Um, I think so.

Boyo: Well, if Poppa buys the kids with no houses in the storm a Darth Maul light saber, I can play with it to make sure it works.  And they can keep it at my house.  That's an EXCELLENT idea.

Me: NO ONE IS GETTING YOU A DARTH MAUL LIGHTSABER!

Girlie: But Mommy, it's not for him.  It's for the poor kids who's houses are under the ocean.

Me: (to my husband) A little help here?

Husband: What?  I stopped listening about five minutes ago.