A Letter To My Daughter on her 19th Birthday....

Happy Birthday, My Darling Girl!!

Today, you are a five year old, sweet princess who refuses to wear anything but skirts and dresses and will put up a fuss if they aren't pink and/or purple.  You are so big, now, my angel baby!  You are growing further and further away from me and I see your blossoming independence in the little things -- get yourself dressed in the morning and brushing your own hair, getting your own snacks, buckling your seatbelt by yourself.  I know that when you start kindergarten in September, I'm going to be bawling all the way home.  I cling to the few remnants of "babyhood" you still allow me -- climbing in our bed in the middle of the night, snuggling me when we are watching TV, crawling up on my lap for a story.  These times are  fleeting now as you grow up, and it makes me cherish them all the more.  I hope you know that, whether your are 5 or 19, you can still come talk to me about anything or cuddle up with me.

You are so good with your baby sister -- you love her a little to vigorously sometimes, but it is clear you adore her.  I hope the 19 year old you still adores her.  And you tolerate your brother's incessant demands on your time and are (mostly) patient with him -- again, I hope the 19 year old you is still like that.  You have an answer for everything -- and your explanations are often hilarious and matter of fact.  For example, you told me today that I can't bend down to pick up your toys because the baby might fall out.  So therefore, we don't need to clean up.  Nice try, kid.  And you aren't afraid to ask questions -- your curiosity (as much as it makes me nuts sometimes) is a gift to be cherished and nourished.  You love to color and paint and create -- your artistic ability is one of your greatest gifts.  

I am trying to imagine what 19 year old you is like and I can't think about grown up you without my throat going tight and my eyes filling with tears.  So I can only tell you what I hope for you:

I hope that you are patient with people who irritate you.  And that you love vigorously.  And that you still ask questions and offer explanations to those who don't understand.  I hope you still create.  I hope you still look for fairies and see the magic that exists in the world.  I hope you still read fairy tales.  I hope you believe.  I hope you know how to take time for yourself, to finish what you start, and to at least try.  I hope you know that there is no dishonor in failure, as long as you gave it your best.  I hope you know your self worth lies in who you are and how you act, not in who you are with or how you look.  I hope you know that you are stronger than you think you are.  I hope you  laugh.  I hope you are happy.  I hope you know that your father and I love you.

I hope you know that you can talk to me about anything,
I love you,

Mom