I read this article the other day about how moms are fighting with each other over stupid, stupid s#$t like attachment parenting versus ferberizing, breastfeeding versus formula, stay at home moms versus working mom.... and I started to cry.
Why did I start to cry? Because this issue has been near and dear to my heart for about four years, 11 months, and 3 days -- or since my eldest daughter was born. I've been screaming from the rooftops (sometimes literarlly) about how there is a war on moms in this country. I have read the book War on Moms. I have blogged about it here. I have written my Congressperson and Senators about it monthly -- to the point that they don't really respond anymore.
Why do I care so much? Because being a mother is hard enough.
But when you add in stress about bonding with my child, paying for the mortgage/food/insurance/gas/diapers when I'm on leave, getting enough sleep, taking care of new tiny, helpless person -- AND YOURSELF --and remembering that I have a husband who needs me too, it's enough to make motherhood seem f$%#ing impossible.
But that's not all. Why else do I care?
Because it sucks that I had to go back to work 2 weeks after I had #3, but everyone told me "That's okay, you work from home." Really?!?! Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou for that. Do you have ANY idea how easy it is to work from home? I didn't think so.
Because when my employer found out that I'm pregnant, they told me that they don't cover health insurance while I'm on maternity leave. But they will float me and I can pay them back with further deductions from my meager paycheck -- at interest.
Because when my son had RSV and was in the hospital at 5 weeks old, I had to go back to work 2 weeks after he got home from PICU. And that was after my pediatrician said he shouldn't be in daycare until he was 3 months old. Do the math... 8 weeks old when I had to go back to work. No daycare until they are 3 months old... that's at 12 weeks. What was I going to do for those 4 weeks? If it wasn't for my sister in law, I would have had to quit.
Because it sucks that when my friend found out she was pregnant, her hours got slashed to part time so that her insurance wasn't covered.
Because it sucks that my sister was just told she is not covered by FMLA.
Because I have heard countless studies of my friends having to pump in the bathroom at work.
Because when my working mom friends tell me how hard it is to leave their six week old baby with a nanny/daycare/family member, my heart breaks for them. Because I've done that too.
Because study after study, doctor after doctor, and common f#$%ing sense tells us that babies thrive when their mother is with them for at least 6 months.
So I read the article and I cried. Because someone else gets it. And isn't afraid to talk about it.
And then I signed the petition. Won't you sign it too?
Please, I'm not asking for a free pass or free money. I'm asking for money that I pay into social security and unemployment be given back to me -- even at 60%. I don't want my employer to have to pay me while I'm gone. But I would like to know that they will hold my job until my child is at least 6 months old.
Because just because it's always been this way, doesn't mean it has to continue.
Because just because it's always been this way, doesn't mean it has to continue.
Because it's hard enough to be a parent.
Please.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Greetings,
I just signed the following petition addressed to: U.S. Congress.
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We the undersigned call on the United States Congress to enact universal, paid, maternity leave for all new mothers.
The Family and Medical Leave Act does not help families who cannot afford to miss a paycheck. Some women have complications during pregnancy that mean they use up FMLA leave before the baby is born. Other women suffer from post-natal depression or other issues that mean they need longer to recover. And all women deserve the right to spend quality time with their new babies without worrying about financial pressures. Studies show that babies benefit from the dedicated care of parents in the first few months of life. The World Health Organization says that babies should be exclusively breastfed for the first six months of life, but many mothers who choose to breastfeed are unable to keep going once they start back at work. The US lags behind the rest of the developed world in providing maternity leave. This is not just a woman's right but a children's right and a human right - all mothers should have the right to paid maternity leave for each pregnancy, no matter where they work.
We understand that any new social legislation is difficult to propose, let alone enact. Nevertheless, it is our fervent hope that one or more Congressmen/Congresswomen will draft legislation that provides for more humane maternity leave for American women. As a society we say that we value mothers and children, so let's prove it by enacting a fair and universal, paid, maternity leave policy.
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Sincerely,
[Your name]
I just signed the following petition addressed to: U.S. Congress.
----------------
We the undersigned call on the United States Congress to enact universal, paid, maternity leave for all new mothers.
The Family and Medical Leave Act does not help families who cannot afford to miss a paycheck. Some women have complications during pregnancy that mean they use up FMLA leave before the baby is born. Other women suffer from post-natal depression or other issues that mean they need longer to recover. And all women deserve the right to spend quality time with their new babies without worrying about financial pressures. Studies show that babies benefit from the dedicated care of parents in the first few months of life. The World Health Organization says that babies should be exclusively breastfed for the first six months of life, but many mothers who choose to breastfeed are unable to keep going once they start back at work. The US lags behind the rest of the developed world in providing maternity leave. This is not just a woman's right but a children's right and a human right - all mothers should have the right to paid maternity leave for each pregnancy, no matter where they work.
We understand that any new social legislation is difficult to propose, let alone enact. Nevertheless, it is our fervent hope that one or more Congressmen/Congresswomen will draft legislation that provides for more humane maternity leave for American women. As a society we say that we value mothers and children, so let's prove it by enacting a fair and universal, paid, maternity leave policy.
----------------
Sincerely,
[Your name]
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