I'm a total geek

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Maybe you have to be a History dork like me, but...

THIS:

PLUS THIS:

EQUAL BEST SOUVENIRS EVER!!!!

This is my celebrity...

I know I tend to lean toward the right politically, but still.... meeting James E. Clyburn was an incredible experience. I do not agree with his politics, but I am in awe of his personality. He was unbelievably welcoming and kind to a bunch of teachers who were not from his district. So thank you, Congressman Clyburn, for your many years of service, even if I don't always agree with you.

"We shouldn't build ceilings. We should build floors to build up from."

~House Majority Whip James E. Clyburn

Yes, I miss my kids, but...

...this is what I walk into every day this week for work:

I Could Totally Do This...

For those of you who can't read the seal, that would the seal of the SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES.

I really wasn't supposed to be standing behind it.

Perfection is Boring

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Some people are born to be mothers. You know the person I am talking about -- always with a smile on her face, with infinite patience, ready to whip up a healthy snack with what she has in her pantry or make a fun costume for her kids with the contents of her purse. She doesn't have a problem spending day in and day out at the park/pool/Mommy and Me class, and, most importantly, she never, ever loses her temper with her child/husband/self.

I'm not that person.

What is funny is that I always thought I would be. I could have sworn when I was twenty that I would be a cross between June Cleaver and Carol Brady, with a little Jackie O thrown in.

Thirty year old Shannon knows better.

I have found that not a week goes by where I am not losing my temper at my child/husband/self.

I hate going to the park/pool/Mommy and Me classes because I'm bored within 5 minutes. But my children love these activities and they have the added benefit of making my children tired, so I go, telling myself that I am taking time off my purgatory sentence.

As for being able to whip up a costume with the contents of my purse, nope. However, I could probably serve a bowl of Cheerios; does that count for something?

And a healthy snack? Ha. I do my best, but some days, the only fruit my kids get is fruit snacks. As for veggies, my THREE YEAR OLD daughter still gets her veggies from pureed baby food because she refuses to touch a green bean and thinks the pureed stuff is a "shake."

And for those moms out there with infinite patience? I'm trying really hard not to hate you. I am only able to not hate you only when I imagine you sneaking your kids candy or letting them watch two hours of TV while you relax with a glass of wine.

My smile sometimes hides gritted teeth. I say "Do I have to count to 3?" more times a day than I care to admit. I cringe when I think about how much TV my kids watch.

And as for the Jackie O style that I thought I would have, don't make me laugh. I did shower today, which gives me Jackie points, but I am also wearing yoga pants and a tank top with applesauce smeared across my pants and something I don't want to identify on my shirt, which makes me lose Jackie points. So I'm calling it a draw.

I have come to the conclusion that June Cleaver was boring.

And Carol Brady had Alice to do the housework.

Why these reflections? Because I am leaving for a week tomorrow morning. I am so excited, I am practically giddy with it. A week - BY MYSELF - in our nation's capital, doing something that I love in a place that I adore. And it was all paid for by someone other than me.

Wouldn't the mom I thought I would be refuse to go? You know, the cross between Jackie O, Carol Brady, and June Cleaver? Wouldn't she be unable to leave her little ones?

So see... I'm not that "perfect" mother, because I'm counting down the hours until I get on that plane. Sure, I'm a bit worried about leaving my husband in charge for a week -- not because I don't trust him with the kids, but because the other night he gave our son a glass glass of milk with ice cubes when he cried for milk at 2:30 in the morning.

Yes, I am going to miss my little ones. I'll miss their smiling faces and hugs, their giggles and questions. No, I will not miss getting up at 3 in the morning to change a bed after an accident, the whining and screaming, or the applesauce smeared across my pants.

And I'm okay with not being that perfect mother because I'm a good mom, and I think that is better. Perfection is boring -- there is no room for growth. So, while I may be learning on the job, at least it is interesting. And my kids know I love them and they love me in return.

And I'll love them even more after a week in D.C.

Just My Luck

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Sometimes I think that if I didn't have bad luck, I would have no luck at all.

Today I got hit with two pieces of bad financial news. Bad news that made me sink to the floor, huddled in the fetal position, sobbing my eyes out because I am terrified and don't know how my family and I will cope. We're talking the type of bad news that I can't plan for, so I don't know what the next step is.

Thankfully, no one is hurt or dying, but the pieces of bad news I got are going to make life difficult for my family and me. The first bit of bad news will make life difficult long term. The second bit of bad news will make life difficult for us short term.

And since bad things happen in threes, I'm not driving anywhere tonight. Better not risk it.

So there I was, crying on the floor of the kitchen, trying to remember my meditation breathing so I didn't have a panic attack while trying to chant the phrase that is supposed to help me calm myself ("God knows my beginning, middle, and end, and I don't"), but it was coming out so quickly that it was "God knows.... God knows... God knows...." when my daughter walked into the kitchen and found me. Now, those of you with kids know that this is your worst nightmare... You never want your kids to see you like that for fear that it might scare them.

My daughter wasn't scared. She was curious. And without missing a beat, she asked "Why you crying, Momma? Don't cry. Use your words. The sun is out. The sun will make everything okay."

Oh, I should probably mention that she was playing dress up in my closet and looked like this:


Yup -- her old winter pajama top, her new ballerina tutu that I put away so she could grow into it, and my snakeskin high heels. Awesome look.

My tears dried up and I started laughing. Not-manic-I-think-I'm-going-crazy-laughter, but genuine, soul healing, everything-is-going-to-be-okay-laughter.

God does know my beginning, middle, and end... and He has given me two awesome little monkeys to take care of to remind me of that when I forget.

Sometimes I forget just how lucky I am.

Stream of Consciousness

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A conversation my daughter recently had with herself to keep herself awake while we were driving home:

"I love Daddy and Brother loves Momma I like to eat ice cream and watch a show in Momma's bed, Daddy can sleep on the couch while we watch princessessess just us girls I need my tiny seat, I don't like my new seat because it's too big and I'm too tiny but it has arm rests and my old seat didn't have armrests I'm three except when I go to Disneyland then I'm two and brother is a baby because he wears diapers and I can't have soda because I'm not big like Nikki's brother I'm still tiny I have one more pull up and then I wear panties and put my peepee in the potty like a big girl no accidents in my Cinderella panties I went swimming today at the birthday party cause I just did my best and I need a cup of water when we get home and I want to feed Kat dinner and play with my princessesses and GamGam and Poppa are going to take us to Disneyland and they are right behind us but I'm too tiny for my seat and I'm stuck in my seat not safe and I see the Big A! Lookit Momma, the big A!! I can spell my name and E-I-E-I...."

"...O?" I asked, turning around to find her like this in her car seat:

Reason Number 146:

My daughter has decided that she no longer needs naps. I beg to differ.

Still, on her 3rd birthday she told me, very seriously, "Momma, I'm fwee. I am a BIG girl now. So I don't need naps anymowe."

I stifled my laughter and replied with a "We'll see."

I forgot how stubborn my daughter is... she has only taken one nap since her birthday, almost a month ago, unless she falls asleep in the car at 5 or 6 pm. And when I try to put her down, she has several reasons why she doesn't need to nap.

Here's a conversation we recently had during naptime. I've started lying down with her because, come on, that is the only way I'll get my nap.

Baby Girl: "Momma, here, cover your face with the blankie. You need to take a nap."

Me: "Okay, Jelly Bean, but you need to take a nap too."

Baby Girl: "I can't, Momma, I have to do my work."

Me: "Oh my goodness! You must be very busy. What work do you have to do?"

Baby Girl: "16-4."

Me: "Hmmmm.... sounds important. What kind of work is that?"

Baby Girl: "It's 16-4. Now cover your face, sweetcakes. I have to do my work. You take a nap. No more talking, Jelly Bean. I love you."

I did as I was told. I took a nap.

I hope she got her work done.

Play Area

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My husband and I have been "refreshing" our house lately... painting the kitchen a sunny yellow, putting a fresh coat of paint up in the living room and hallway, painting our bedroom a relaxing blue, reorganizing the garage so we can fit a car in there...

(I blame my sister. She just bought a house and is decorating it. That made me realize that my house was getting a bit shabby, what with two kids destroying it. So when my husband starts bi#$%ing about the work, I blame her.)

But I'm very happy that I took our atrium from this little, rectangular, dirty, nothing-is-going-to-grow-here-so-stop-burying (I mean, planting)-plants-here, dog's room:

To this, a children's paradise play area:

And this means, I get my living room back.

We'll see how long it lasts.

Potty Training, Part I

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It's finally starting to work. The potty training concept is sinking in.

With the wrong kid.

Things overheard on our "mini-cation" to San Diego

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- "Momma! The sharks aren't wearing any swimsuits!"

- "No, I want to stand up and go pee pee."

- "Boyo, what do you see?"
"ELMO!"

-"Where is the color bear?" (polar bear)

- "Mr. Walrus, that's DISGUSTING! Say 'Scuse Me!' when you burp!" (after a walrus spat out its food and belched in front of us)

- "NO! NO! Dolphins can't twirl! They don't have purple whirly skirts on!"

- "That efelant is going to trip on its nose."

-"Yah! (clap clap clap)" (by my son as he watched Shamu splash the audience).

-"Little brothers are trouble."

And the best one yet, perhaps because it was said by my daughter before we did anything:

"This is going to be GREAT!"

What my family needs for vacation

I am not sure what I am more ashamed about....

...that this was only for 2 days OR...

...that there was more in the house....

Um... Should I be worried?

~

I signed up for AdSense on my blog, which means that Google posts ads based on my blog's content on the side of the page.

I just realized that on one of my blog posts, there were 4 ads.

They were:

1. Cinderella Disney Princess

2. Celebrity Gossip

3. Smirnoff Video Experience

4. Ariel Disney Princess

Great. Google thinks I'm an alcoholic parent.