Wordless Wednesday: My little Roman Soldiern

Better Mom

Last week, the day before school started, I took the kids to Disneyland for one last summer fling. 

It was a lot of fun until it wasn't. 

They were tired.  They were worried about starting school.  They were hot.  They wanted to play Wii.  They were hungry.  They were thirsty.  They wanted to go home.

So as I was walking/dragging my kids down Main Street, two of them broke down and threw temper tantrums that had to be seen to be believed. 

And that was when it happened...

A woman (perfectly made up, coordinating outfit) was pushing her two year old (in an adorable Minnie Mouse outfit, sitting in a perfectly pink stroller) past me.  She looked at me and said, loud enough for me to hear, "If you were a better mom, your children would listen to you."

What. The. F%$#.

There were so many things I wanted to do.  I want to tackle her and pound her perfectly made up blonde head into the ground.  I want to call her a judgmental bitch and tell her to go to hell.  I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs because I am exhausted, over worked, under appreciated, but, dammit, I am the best mom I can be.

Instead, I did something that I didn't think I could do. 

I broke. 

I stood on Main Street of Disneyland and sobbed.  I cried tears of anger, of exhaustion, and embarrassment.  I couldn't find any words.  I couldn't find a reaction.  I was so beaten down that at that moment in time all I could do was sob.

And my son - my sweet, shy boy whom I was afraid was going to fail his Kindergarten assessment because he doesn't like to talk to strangers -- looked at this troll and said, "You're mean.  And rude."  

A better mom probably would have scolded him for talking to an adult like that. 

I gave him a watery grin, a big hug, and bought all my kids lollipops. 

I couldn't help but think about it all day long.  I alternated between crying and being so furious I wanted to scream.  And, of course, I played the "If only I had" game...

If only I had asked her "what is a better mom?"  Because, truly, what the hell is a better mom?  I realized at 3 in the morning that I don't know what a better mom is because each and every day I do the best I can for my kids... and I don't know how to make my best "better."

If only I had coldly said, "Do not speak to me or my children in that manner."

If only I hadn't cried.  

If only I had taken a deep breath and said, "You know, ma'am, that comment was hurtful and judgmental.  And you seem like you have this parenting thing under control TODAY.  But there is going to come a day where you don't.  Where you are exhausted and overwhelmed and angry with the world and wondering what the hell you are doing.  Where you question every decision you make as a mother.  Where you wonder why you thought you could be a mother.  And when that day comes, I hope to God that someone lifts you up instead of tears you down.  You just tried to tear me down.  And you should be ashamed of yourself because moms should stick together."

But I didn't do any of those things. 

I could only cry my frustrations away and resolve that the next time I see a mother struggling, I would lift her up. 

FISH

I am not a big fish fan -- fish tend to try to commit suicide around me.  My husband is (was) and maintained a tank for about 9 years.  Still, when we moved, we sold our fish and tried (repeatedly) to sell our tank.  We even put it on the street with a free sign.  No one took it.  

Lately, Girlie and Boyo have been lobbying for [insert whiny voice here] a pet of their "own."  That they don't have to "share with my baby sisters." 

So last week, while I was at the spa, my husband did this:

He let them pick out the decorations, rocks, plants...

Meet Girlie's Goldie and Sunny, Boyo's Cewpie, Henry, Jones, Junior, KK's Mickey, Minnie, Donald, and BabyBug's Poopoo and PWWWWWWWWWWWWWT.  

Poopoo has all ready gone to the great ocean in the sky.

My kids wanted to bury him.  

But the irony in flushing him down the toilet was too great to be resisted.  

Wordless Wednesday: Ice Cream For Dinner

Butterfly House

I am grateful. And Tired.

It's no secret that I work from home.  

This past summer though, I got something I haven't gotten in 4 years -- a summer off.  Well, calling it a summer is stretching the truth.  It was 4 weeks.  But still. 

I went back to work on the 14th of July to prep for my new position:

 

A regional lead teacher. 

I'll be overseeing 13 teachers in Ventura County, 350 homeroom students, and about 2000 content students.   

I'm grateful for the opportunity.  I fought hard for the promotion.  And it lets me work while still getting to see this: 

 

And help make Fairy Houses: 

And teach Math skills and Marketing to my second grader: 

 

And I have the cutest assistant on the face of the planet: 

 

But still -  a new position means new responsibilities.  It means my work day starts at 5am and ends around 10pm.

I'm grateful for my job.  I am passionate about teaching and the students and teachers I am going to help this year. 

But I'm tired.

Wordless Wednesday: Safety First

Yes, she is sitting on the bottom of her baby pool

KK's Birthday, Part 2

The line for Frozen before the park opens!!

Waited in line for 45 minutes to meet Elsa and Anna... and she gets shy.

We LOVE Minnie :)

What happens when you let a 3 year old drive.

Birthday Celebrations!